My Why.

So all year I have been on this crazy journey of working out the reason behind all of my hard work to build both Rubie Love and Hoofbeats & Pawprints. To get to the root of my why, the reason behind this constant burning feeling right down inside my gut. What is it that makes me want this so much? 

You might ask why it's so important that I worked this out? What does it matter? Well the purpose and the why behind everything you do is what defines your actions. If there isn't a why then your actions mean nothing. Then this week it hit me after a lot of journaling and reflection of the past year. 

My why is to create a business that not only allows me to live a creatively abundant life but to also give me the time and financial abundance to help others. I want to create change for others, no matter how big or small. I want my actions to inspire. I want a business that's soul and reason is to enhance the human experience. 

Which is why I chose photography. You see it's so much more than just clicking a button and sticking something on a USB I document the human experience. The one thing that we all need (unless you are sociopath) is connection. Every single one of my couples are getting married because they opened themselves up enough and made themselves vulnerable enough to find the ultimate connection. Love. 

So there is nothing more worthy than photographing the celebration of this connection. To document two families coming together and building new connections. Brand new worlds. Setting the scene for more new and wonderful things to come out of that connection. 

I see it time and time again and I am incredibly privileged that every single one of my couples are authentic and open people who understand the importance of what I capture and curate for them. That they hold great value on their wedding photos because they understand that what I do for them isn't just clicking a button. And that they appreciate that my purpose is to give them an amazing experience with wonderful results. Because they know I thrive from documenting connection. And that's why they chose me. Because my actions have purpose, real authentic purpose. 

It's just taken me a while to properly define what that is. But now that I know it means that every new connection I make, every action that I take will have this reason behind it. 

But how do I help people? Where does that come into it? You see I made a brave step jumping wholeheartedly into the world of photography. I didn't want my life to be defined by the 9-5, life is more than that to me. So I made myself vulnerable and did something scary and brave all at the same time. I jumped off of the edge of the cliff and into the unknown. Because that is the only way to define starting your own business. You are taking a leap despite of the unknown and insecurity. You are putting your faith wholly in yourself and what you can create.

So why do that? Well I want the time and money to go out and help others. In my early 20s I was a people pleaser which I largely put down to the void my Dad left. My soul was lost in the shame of I wasn't enough because he rejected who I was. The one connection that should go without saying was denied to me. So I felt there was something wrong with me. And that I had to please others no matter the cost to myself to be deserving of connection. I only really forgave him and myself this year. Which freed me. 

However when I stopped people pleasing and nurtured my authentic self I realised I still have a need to help others. I want to serve a bigger purpose outside of myself. The thing is though you can't help others if you don't help yourself first. If you are not in a good space, if you haven't got the time or money or compassion then you can't wholeheartedly help other people. Which is why Rubie Love and Hoofbeats & Pawprints must be successful so I can live out its purpose. 

It's already begun though. I am currently offering free shoots for horse owners with terminal cancer a small act that I hope will make a small amount of difference to what they are having to so bravely face and next year I will be doing my level one qualification in Equine Facilitated Human Development which means I will be able to help people with my remarkable horse Pearl with a very powerful form of therapy and counselling. 

I couldn't offer this without taking the leap and believing in myself and what I create. Which I do wholeheartedly and that is why my why will define my success. 

Ami xx

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